


growing pains

by wonhoon



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, seungcheol legit only appeared for 3 seconds, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 09:50:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7431065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonhoon/pseuds/wonhoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which jihoon finally learns how to let go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 끝

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is heavily based on the one & only ballad track in Astro's new album, 성장통/Growing Pains. it is really touching, especially so if you've been through a heart wrenching break up.
> 
> written at 4am AND unbeta'd, pls let me know if you spot mistakes anywhere x

_“I’ve been crying the whole night_

_as this is my first breakup_

_it hurts more than I thought it would be_

_does everyone experience the same pain after a breakup?_

_why does it seem like I’m the only one having it so difficult?”_

it is the dead of the night again where jihoon laid still in his spacious, cold bed, frail body trembling slightly as he blinked away endless of unshed tears, sobbing silently as a familiar dull ache eats away at his insides slowly. he takes a deep breath in hopes of calming himself but to no avail. he gives up.

 

_“as time goes by my tears have run dry_

_I have gotten used to passing each day without you_

_I am able to smile naturally when I met you coincidentally_

_does it mean that I’ve matured even by a little bit?”_

jihoon was never a social butterfly — he preferred keeping to his books and music sheets, withholding his silence unless he was spoken to. he avoided crowds as much as possible, even going out of the way deliberately sometimes just to be able to enjoy the little to none tranquillity left in his life. it seems that, however, today just wasn’t his day.

“jihoon!” _oh crap why._

jihoon lifts his head reluctantly as his eyes met that one person he was dreading to see all week. of course, his luck has ran out after nearly 9 days. he should have seen this coming. he sighs. attempting to put all the venom he had in his body into each syllable, he managed a rather weak “what do you want?”

“are you avoiding me?” desperation laced evidently in his voice.

“no, definitely not,” he whispered just loud enough for them both to hear before he took off.

he wasn’t sure which is more difficult — holding back the tears that are threatening to fall, or convincing himself that he doesn’t miss anything about the other boy. he do not wish to know.

 

_“even if it hurts, I’m bearing with it_

_the reason is because of you_

_today is no exception_

_I’m crying and sniffling in pain because of you”_

 

it seems to be nothing more than just a routine to jihoon now. drag himself out of bed to school at the crack of dawn, try to keep his sanity during classes, go to his music club just for the sake of it, go home, cry himself to sleep, repeat. he is pretty convinced that he doesn’t think of a certain someone that much anymore, but everyone other than himself knows fairly well that it is because he never left his mind once.

 

_“I’m going to have a hard time in the future missing you_

_but I should forget it all_

_and continue living like it was nothing_

_taking your existence like growing pains_

_I will mature from it and forget it all afterwards”_

 

everyone who knows jihoon would say that he is a strong man despite his tiny frame, he will never be beaten easily by anything and would stand back up stronger even if he ever did fall over. jihoon took pride in his character, but why is it that the more he tries to keep up with it the more his façade would slowly ebb and crumble away?

 

_“I can now smile even when I’m sad_

_I’ve grown up that much_

_but never forget that I’ve once liked you a lot”_

 

it’s been 4 months since he got crushed into millions of pieces by the person he love dearly, 3 since he started getting over himself and learnt to have a life without him. he managed to pick himself up as time passes, fragment by fragment, and mended the pieces of his broken heart to the best of his ability with thread and stitches. it hurts even more along the way if possible, and though it is not a perfect job, it doesn’t matter to him. nothing ever does anymore.

 

_““you’re gonna come back again”_

_that was what I thought_

_but you kept drifting further and further away from me,_

_more and more”_

 

it is about time he lets the past come to a rest, where he can finally stop dreaming of a certain someone’s face at night before waking up in tears, facing an empty bed and a reality just as harsh. it is about time he lets go and accept that he is never coming back. jihoon took in a sharp intake of the cold air surrounding him and exhales quietly, letting the last of his tears drip into his lap. _this is the last time I’m going to cry for you_.

 

_“when this song ends the memories of you and i_

_I want to forget them,_

_bit by bit.”_

 

 

_i'm sorry i can't do anything more for you, or stay by your side till the end, but i'm happy. thank you for all the precious memory you've given me._

_i guess this is goodbye,_

_choi seungcheol._


	2. 성장통

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 아스트로 - 성장통 가사 // ASTRO - GROWING PAINS LYRICS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just because this is an amazing song and there is no lyrics video online with accurate translations/subs.

[Moonbin]  
밤새워 울었어 처음 이별해서  
bamsaewo ureosseo cheoeum ibyeolhaeseo  
I’ve been crying the whole night at it is my first break up

생각한 것보다 훨씬 더 많이 아팠어  
saenggakhan geotboda hwolssin deo manhi apasseo  
it hurts more than I thought it would

모든 사람들이 이별하고 또 아플까  
modeun saramdeuri ibyeolhago tto apeulkka  
does everyone experience the same pain after a break up

나만 그런 걸까?  
naman geureon geolkka  
why does it seem like I’m the only one

너무 어려서 그런 걸까?  
neomu eoryeoseo geureon geolkka  
having it so difficult?

[MJ]  
시간이 더 지나고 눈물도 말라 가고  
sigani deo jinago nunmuldo malla gago  
as time goes by, my tears have run dry

너 없는 하루도 익숙해져가  
neo eoptneun harudo iksukhaejyeoga  
I have gotten used to passing each day without you

[Eunwoo]  
우연히 널 만났어 자연스레 웃었어  
uyeonhi neol mannasseo jayeonseure useosseo  
I am able to smile naturally when I met you coincidentally

[Sanha]  
조금은 내가 어른이 된 걸까  
jogeumeun naega eoreuni doen geolkka  
does it mean I’ve matured even by a little?

[MJ]  
아파도 참을만했던 건  
apado chameulmanhaetdeon geon  
even if it hurts, I’m bearing with it

그 이유 바로 너라는 걸  
geu iyu baro neoraneun geol  
the reason is because of you

오늘도 나 너 땜에 울고불고 아파하고  
oneuldo na neo ttaeme ulgobulgo apahago  
today is no exception, I’m crying and sniffling in pain because of you

[Sanha]  
슬퍼도 웃을 수 있는 건  
seulpeodo useul su itneun geon  
I can now smile even when I’m sad

그만큼 성장한다는 것  
geumankeum seongjanghandaneun geot  
I’ve grown up that much

잊지 마 내가 너를 많이 좋아했다는 걸  
itji ma naega neoreul manhi johahaetdaneun geol  
but never forget that I’ve once liked you a lot

[JinJin]  
아무리 생각 안 난다고  
amuri saenggak an nandago  
no matter how hard I try

자기 합리화를 시켜봐도  
jagi haprihwareul sikyeobwado  
I couldn’t make my thoughts rational

나는 너만 생각하는 걸  
naneun neoman saenggakhaneun geol  
I keep thinking about you

어떻게 보면 하루도 안 빼먹고  
eotteoke bomyeon harudo an ppaemeokgo  
how am I going to survive another day without you

너와 연락하게 된 것도  
neowa yeonrakhage doen geotdo  
my thoughts kept drifting back to our first meeting

나는 너밖에 안 보인다는 거  
naneun neobakke an boindaneun geo  
or how I saw nothing else but you

[Rocky]  
앞으로 보고 싶고 힘들겠지만  
apeuro bogo sipgo himdeulgetjiman  
I’m going to have a hard time in the future missing you

다 잊혀지겠지 하며  
da ichyeojigetji hamyeo  
but I should forget it all

난 아무렇지 않은 척 지내겠지  
nan amureohji anheun cheok jinaegetji  
and continue living like it was nothing

그렇게 너란 존잰  
geureoke neoran jonjaen  
taking your existence

내게 성장통처럼 아팠고  
naege seongjangtongcheoreom apatgo  
like growing pains

난 그만큼 성장하고 잠시 잊겠지  
nan geumankeum seongjanghago jamsi ijgetji  
I will mature from it and forget it all afterwards

[Moonbin]  
솔직히 지금까지 괜찮은척한 거야  
soljikhi jigeumkkaji gwaenchanheuncheokhan geoya  
honestly it was okay up till now

그래도 조금 더 노력해볼게  
geuraedo jogeum deo noryeokhaebolge  
so I should try a little bit more

[Eunwoo]  
손잡고 걷던 길을 나 혼자서 걸어가  
sonjapgo geotdeon gireul na honjaseo georeoga  
I’m walking alone on the path we once walked on while holding hands

[Sanha]  
그만큼 내가 커간다는 걸까  
geumankeum naega keogandaneun geolkka  
I’ve matured by that much

[MJ]  
아파도 참을만했던 건  
apado chameulmanhaetdeon geon  
even if it hurts, I’m bearing with it

그 이유 바로 너라는 걸  
geu iyu baro neoraneun geol  
the reason is because of you

오늘도 나 너 땜에 울고불고 아파하고  
oneuldo na neo ttaeme ulgobulgo apahago  
today is no exception, I’m crying and sniffling in pain because of you

[Sanha]  
슬퍼도 웃을 수 있는 건  
seulpeodo useul su itneun geon  
I can now smile even when I’m sad

그만큼 성장한다는 것  
geumankeum seongjanghandaneun geot  
I’ve grown up that much

잊지 마 내가 너를 많이 좋아했다는 걸  
itji ma naega neoreul manhi johahaetdaneun geol  
but never forget that I’ve once liked you a lot

[JinJin]  
더 많이 잘해주지 못해서  
deo manhi jalhaejuji mothaeseo  
I can’t do anything more for you

끝까지 너의 곁에서  
kkeutkkaji neoui gyeoteseo  
I can’t stay by your side until the end

나 자리를 지키지 못 해서  
na jarireul jikiji mot haeseo  
and protect you anymore

미안해 난 행복했어  
mianhae nan haengbokhaesseo  
I’m sorry, but I’m happy

[MJ]  
고마워 내게 알려줘서  
gomawo naege allyeojwoseo  
thank you for letting me know

[Moonbin]  
우리가 많이 어리다고  
uriga manhi eoridago  
we are still very young

쉽게 생각했던 건 아니야  
swipge saenggakhaetdeon geon aniya  
it is not easy to think like that

오늘도 나 너 땜에 울고불고 아파하고  
oneuldo na neo ttaeme ulgobulgo apahago  
today is no exception, I’m crying and sniffling in pain because of you

[Sanha]  
슬퍼도 웃을 수 있는 건  
seulpeodo useul su itneun geon  
I can now smile even when I’m sad

그만큼 성장한다는 것  
geumankeum seongjanghandaneun geot  
I’ve grown up that much

잊지 마 내가 너를 많이 좋아했다는 걸  
itji ma naega neoreul manhi johahaetdaneun geol  
but never forget that I’ve once liked you a lot

[Rocky]  
한 번쯤 다시 돌아오겠지  
han beonjjeum dasi doraogetji  
“you’re gonna come back again”

난 믿었지만 넌 자꾸 멀어져 가네 점점  
nan mideotjiman neon jakku meoreojyeo gane jeomjeom  
that was what I thought, but you kept drifting further away from me, more and more

노래가 끝나면 너와의 기억  
noraega kkeutnamyeon neowaui gieok  
when this song ends, the memories of you and I

아주 잠시만 잊을래 잊혀져 가라 점점  
aju jamsiman ijeullae ichhyeojyeo gara jeomjeom  
I want to forget them, bit by bit


End file.
